Short Fat Chick in Paris by Kerre Woodham

Author:Kerre Woodham [Kerre Woodham]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780730493693
Publisher: HarperCollins

Gaz

There’s no such thing as failure, just a void of disappointment to fill when things don’t go according to plan. That’s something I tell my runners when their performance falls short of their expectations. Of course there was no outstanding result for Kerre in London—her priorities were to talk about running the race, rather than actually run it. Of course she was passed by a fat rhino—her idea of training and race preparation was a bottle of wine!

This time Kerre didn’t earn the tickertape parade at the finish line. Circumstances had made it impossible for Kate and me to get to the finish line to greet her, so instead we’d retreated to the pub to celebrate with the other successful runners—all of them with personal bests, gleaming smiles and the sense of a job well done.

The marathon deserves respect; you need to train consistently and diligently. You can blag a half-marathon, but a full marathon won’t let you get away with that. It’s tough, it’s hard work, and you are going to get to the point where you are so over it, and think that you can’t make it. But why else is it considered such a great achievement? Why else is it that only 1.1 per cent of the world finish a marathon? Why else are you allowed to take the title of marathon runner to your grave? That’s why you get a medal to wear around your neck.

Though irony is never lost on Kerre, while Kate and I were busy recapping the race step by step and taking a magnitude of photos of the other runners heavily endowed with new silverware, Kerre had taken herself off to a hair appointment in one of London’s finest salons, where no doubt there would be a lovely young hairdresser waiting to pamper her. What lengths a girl will go to to restore her pride!

It would seem that 2009 would also be my year to learn a valuable lesson when it comes to preparing for a marathon. I was hoping to qualify for the Boston Marathon, an event that has a qualifying time of 3 hours 10 minutes 59 seconds or less for my age group, and had entered the Christchurch Marathon. The Boston Marathon is considered to be the Holy Grail of marathons for amateur and professional runners. Steeped in history, it is the world’s oldest annual marathon. Originally attracting around 2000 runners, it became so popular that event organisers had to change the qualifying times over the years to cater for the overwhelming number of entrants. It now attracts over 20,000 runners each year, and is on many a runner’s to-do list.

Below I outline the lessons that I learned when underprepared for a marathon.

Lesson no. 1—being the coach does not give you the right to think you can do less training than your clients, and still think you will get a better result.

Lesson no. 2—contrary to personal belief, the coach shouldn’t think that he can get away with late nights on the lash and still perform on race day.

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